Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Do you think your landlord should have a key to your room?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Over 60? Forget walking and swimming — this simple exercise builds strength and balance - Tom's Guide

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Do you think covid 19 was never as bad as it got made out to be where we needed lockdowns and restrictions?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I was tired of trying and failing.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s back! Massive $400 price drop now live on 2TB Space Black M4 iPad Pro at Amazon - 9to5Toys

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

CVS closing 271 stores, including 3 locations in Upstate NY - Syracuse.com

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

The sadness was still there.

And the sadness?

What are the coolest new smart home gadgets to upgrade your living space?

Be who you already are.

I had run out of hope.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Don’t Try Flying With Erewhon Sunflower Seeds - The Cut

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s still here.

Samsung could drop Google Gemini in favor of Perplexity for Galaxy S26 - Ars Technica

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why do flat Earthers run away like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs when asked simple questions that expose their delusions as fantasy?

You are like me, then.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.